Ervolino

Wednesday 11-11: My new site info

OK, folks, it's MOVING DAY. Within minutes, unless I totally screw this up, this blog will be moving to its new address. The new link is as follows: ERVOLINO BLOG

You will need to change the current bookmark you use to get here. I mean, THERE. I mean...well, you know what I mean.

 As far as I can tell all of the content has been moved and the new site looks quite nice! I may have some problems posting at first -- I've never been very good at this stuff -- but I should have all the kinks worked out by the end of today.

 As always, thanks for visiting me HERE and please continue to visit me THERE.

  

 

The Sniper Case

It was only seven years ago that DC residents found themselves terrorized by an unknown killer who "experts" surmised was a white man in his 30s. John Allen Muhammad, who was ultimately captured and tried for the crimes -- with young accomplice Lee Boyd Malvo -- didn't fit the known profile of most serial killers. He also wasn't driving the mysterious white van that some witnesses reportedly saw near crime scenes.

 Muhammad faces execution today for killing at least 10 people, a murderous spree that was apparently part of some grand-scale post 9-11 terror campaign. What still isn't quite clear is if Muhammad -- born John Allen Williams -- was seeking to kill his ex-wife and gain custody of their children (a claim made in court by prosecutors) or if the events in his personal life had pushed him over the edge.

 I will always remember this case because of the manic television coverage it inspired. All of the cable news networks went into overdrive on this story, with round-the-clock reports, updates and panels incorporating the aforementioned serial killer experts who, for all their expertise, got everything wrong.

 Muhammad's story wasn't extraordinary and that may be what scared me the most about him. He seemed like to so many other people wandering around nowadays with no direction or purpose and not much to look forward to. He eventually embraced the Nation of Islam (which has since distanced itself from him) and felt an affinity for those who attacked his country a year earlier. His plan (as explained by Malvo) was to assemble an army of kids who Muhammad hoped to train in Canada and then unleash on the U.S. in a series of random attacks.

 It seems unlikely that Muhammad would have ever managed to pull this off. But it is frightening to think that a man who served in the U.S. Army National Guard and then volunteered for active service, would then become so disillusioned with his country that he would even THINK of something like this.

 It's tempting to make comparisons between him and the suspect in the Fort Hood rampage last week. It also has to make you wonder how many other people out there are disillusioned, lost, angry and looking for an opportunity to make some bold, deadly statement that only seems to make sense to them.

 Many well-known serial killers come from mangled backgrounds and have histories of strange behavior that goes all the way back to their childhoods. It's creepy to think that people who didn't have these problems -- who, in fact, had otherwise normal lives -- could suddenly reach this point, plotting out mass murders and bizarre schemes to create havoc.

 Before his arrest, Muhammad didn't fit the accepted profile for someone capable of this behavior. Well, perhaps it is time that we seriously try to understand his particular type of madness because -- unfortunately -- there are plenty of people just like him all around us. 

 

 

 

 

Monday

I'm speaking today at Bergen Community College, as part of a series I do twice a year through the Record. Friends always ask me 'What are you going to speak about?" I'm never quite sure, so I usually just go there and ask what they WANT me to talk about.

 One thing that just irked me -- for the 9,000th time -- was some stupid chain email about all of Michelle Obama's "lackeys" "servants" "attendents" etc.

 I think most of you realize now that 98 percent of chain emails about real people are made up idiots with nothing else to do with their time. They tend to feed off people's fears, prejudices or political persuasion. And some, like this Michelle-o-gram, also take a swipe at the media. 

 As I've said on many occasions here, anyone who wants you to distrust the legitimate mainstream media is not someone to be trusted. Sure, we make mistakes and our editorial pages do promote a certain opinion. But a free press is the hallmark of a democracy and the first thing dictators go after is a free press.

 Newspapers -- and all of the media in this country, for that matter -- are going through an awful time right now. We are trying to survive all sorts of challenges and keep our heads above water.

 When people go after the legit media (and I'm talking now about real news providers, not chat shows, radio loons or supermarket tabloids) it is a direct attack on this country, on you and on the freedoms we all hold dear.

 If I sound like I'm over-reacting, well, maybe I am. But, I am sick of this rhetoric, and of these carefully designed email that are designed to get a gut reaction from people, even though the "facts" they offer are fictional or have been presented in such a way as to be misleading.

 I assume all of these emails are baloney, but since a few (VERY few) are actually positive and CORRECT, I often go to snopes.com to check out their take on the matter. They have a great track record when it comes to these things and their information, in my experience, is correct and well-documented.

 Now, have a good day and

 VIVA LA FREE PRESS!!!!

Words, etc.

Thanks to Janet K for passing this along:

  Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are: 

     1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. 
    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 
    3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 
    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 
    5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.. 
    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you 
    absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 
    7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 
    8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash. 
    9.. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you 
    are run over by a steamroller. 
    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 
    11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 
    12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by 
    proctologists. 
    13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist. 
    14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with 
    Yiddishisms. 
    15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul 
    flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 
    16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by 
    Jewish men.

Sunday, Nov. 8

Beautiful morning -- with a high in the upper 60s expected? I guess this is as good a day as any to get back to work. Type. Type. Type.

 I will be taking a break this afternoon to get together with Lee, the old friend I ran into last weekend. Tomorrow I'll be speaking to a class as Bergen Community College as part of its In the Record series. I do this twice a year, so I shouldn't have too many problems with that. (Although I hate classrooms -- or any other rooms -- without windows. Doesn't that make you crazy???)

 Oh, well...back to business. Columns to write, people to see....

 Have a great day.

Saturday

Nice sunny day. Going to the gym. Resume my column-writing tomorrow. Stay-cation over. Thank heavens! How y'all doing? 

Friday

Like all of you, I was deeply disturbed yesterday afternoon by the rampage at Fort Hood. Throughout the day and night, it was troubling to hear the descriptions of what happened and the profile of the suspect who (as many of us were shocked to learn late last night) is still alive and in custody.

 A new wave of anti-Muslim sentiment in this country seems almost inevitable if the posts I read on other blogs and news sites are any indication. And I'm sure that the video of the suspect buying coffee in traditional Muslim garb on the day of the shootings pushed some people over the edge -- even though we don't know enough about him yet to fully grasp how significant (or insignificant) that was.

 Since September 11, 2001 this country has needed some prominent American Muslims to step forward and become part of the cultural landscape; to speak to all of us regularly on any number of issues and, in the process, to defuse the US vs. THEM mentality that has festered in the wake of the 2001 attacks.

 At the moment, what little we know about the Fort Hood suspect suggests he was an ongoing victim of this mentality and that he eventually succumbed to the very disorder he was treating in the military. 

 On Friday, the president reminded us that we still don't have enough information to understand what happened or why it happened. He's right, of course. But, in the meantime, it would be helpful if there were some familiar Muslim faces on the news to reassure those who need it that the majority of American Muslims condemn this act of madness.

 Such condemnations are on the news wires now from Muslim organizations I've never heard of. This is somewhat helpful. But, it's hard not feel that we need more from this community; specifically: representatives and leaders who can bridge the cultural divide that has allowed so many Americans to view Muslims with suspicion and scorn.

 Perhaps this is the media's fault -- for only seeking out Muslim spokespersons when something awful happens. But, whatever the reasons, it needs to change. Going online this morning and reading so many anti-Muslim statements -- from all around the country -- was unsettling. 

 At the moment, Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan -- still referred to as "the alleged gunman" -- remains an enigma. I think most of us realize that he is not representative of an entire religion. But, some feel differently about that. This has to change. And I believe it depends on the emergence of Muslim-American leaders who can successfully represent the majority and create a true social and cultural bridge that, eight years after 9/11, is still severely lacking in this country.

 

 

Thursday

I've never considered myself much of a Yankees fan, but I always find myself glued to World Series games and this series was terrific, right up until last night's triumph for the Bombers. I rooted for them, and enjoyed seeing these two well-matched teams take it to six. Last night was fun, although Sunday's game was probably my favorite. All that last minute action....I hadn't jumped around and howled so much in a long time.

 Anyway, congrats to them and to all you Yankees fans who are so hopelessly devoted to this club. 

 My friend Troy came over last night for game six and I made some chili -- actually my own concoction with skirt steak, beans, zucchini, carrots, onions and diced tomatoes. I also made a guacamole-like appetizer and a huge spinach salad with mushrooms and bacon. We could barely eat the salad though. I made way too much food.

 Later on we had some chocolate ice cream with bananas. Funny, but no matter how stuffed I am, I can usually find a little room for ice cream.

 Hope all of you are well and enjoying what appears to be a nice, bright day. I am tired -- didn't sleep much -- and wondering now whether to go back to bed or get on with my day and take a nap later. Oh, decisions, decisions.

 There are so many end-of-summer markers, but the last of them -- the World Series -- is finally out of the way. I saw Christmas decorations in the store yesterday and even saw a neighbor in Wood-Ridge who already has his decorated Christmas tree in the front window of his house.

 I know its fun to complain about rushing things every year, but I don't really care, anymore. If you need a little Christmas, be my guest. Actually, I think it would be fun to have the decorations up before Thanksgiving. 

 I start writing again this weekend -- my column resumes on Wednesday -- after yet another stay-cation. I can't believe I still have more time coming to me, but that's not happening until after Christmas.

 Have a great day and weekend. I'll check in periodically. And, as always, if anyone has a topic of special interest to them please post...

Post-Mortem

No real surprises in yesterday's election. Bloomberg spent his money effectively. Corzine didn't.  

 I knew nothing about Chris Christie, but in the last four years, I can't remember anyone ever bringing up Gov. Corzine in conversation. And this has just been one of those years. People who were disgusted with everything were more likely to vote than people who were merely depressed.

 Did the Republican wins reflect on Pres. Obama? I don't think so. Despite the Obama-haters who get more airtime than their numbers merit, I don't think most Americans are angry at this president. Yet. But, let's face it: Things have to start turning around soon, or next year's election will be ALL about Obama.

 I haven't seen turnout numbers yet, but I can't imagine they were too high around here. I think we're all still exhausted from last year's election...

 Did any of these results surprise you? How about the repeal of same-sex marriage in Maine? Court rulings have made gay marriage legal in some states. Voters still reject it, but consider the numbers. Had anyone told me 25 years ago that 47 percent of voters in Maine would be in favor of same-sex marriage, I would have been stunned. Older Americans -- even many older gay Americans -- still find this concept foreign. But, every year, the numbers seem to shift slightly. And what was initially an almost-shocking notion no longer seems like such a big deal to most of us.

 If any of yesterday's races reflected REAL politics in this country, it was the congressional race in upstate New York, which most pundits agreed had everything to do with feelings of disillusionment and confusion within the Republican party. The GOP continues to spin around in circles, which isn't good for either party. 

 Oh, well. Another election passes into history. Now, let's get this World Series over with...

 

 

Election Day

Serendipity

OK, two guys walk into a bar...

 If you saw my Facebook page this morning, you know how this turned out. I was supposed to meet two friends -- John and John -- at a bar last night to watch Game 4 and eat some really awful hot dogs.

 I get there. No John. No John. The hot dogs are skinny and pale looking, but I toss two of them into a bun and spritz on some mustard.

 Ugh. Awful.

 It's a good game. One that will get INTENSE, eventually. (I haven't screamed like that since the '86 Mets.)

 So, anyway, I'm talking to the bartender and then to this gray-haired guy sitting next to me. Suddenly...I'm staring at gray-haired guy and ask "What's your name?"

 Turns out he was one of my very close friends from the 1970s -- someone I later lost touch with and haven't seen in over 30 years.

 How is this possible?

 "Do you come here often?" I ask.

 He says he'd never been there before. He lives about 45 miles away. His father is in the hospital nearby and he drove in to take his mother to visit his Dad. Then, he stopped for a drink on his way home.

 What really amazed me about this is the era we are living in. Nowadays, it seems you can find virtually everybody you ever met if you know how to use your computer. In the last few months I have re-connected with friends from the '90s, the '80s, the 70's -- even a friend from junior high school who I haven't seen since 1968.

 Younger people don't find this amazing, because this technology has always been part of their lives, but the rest of us are kind of tickled that people we never thought we'd ever see or hear from again can be found so easily.

 Lee, however, was an exception. For years, I have tried to find him using all sorts of websites and programs. Alas, he was nowhere to be found. Well, until last night.

 He told me he lives out east on Long Island (near Riverhead) in a house he built himself, with his own two hands. (Well, actually, a friend helped, so I guess there were four hands involved.)

 This was such a stunning thing that even though we talked for over an hour, we stopped repeatedly to say, "I can't believe this..."

 He has a computer, but has never connected it. (One of those email-free Luddite types!) He had to get home and get up for work in the morning. I'm guessing we're going to see each other next weekend.

 I'm still stunned about this chance meeting. I just wish the hot dogs had been better.

 

Sunday

 Wow, another dreary day. I'm guessing your clocks have been adjusted. I wound up going to a Halloween party last night. Most of my friends were in some sort of costume. I decided to by-pass that part of the holiday and just wore some light gray jeans, a striped shirt and a cap. At one point some guy said to me, "Great costume!" I thought he was kidding. He said, "Oh, I'm sorry. Aren't you supposed to be Waldo?"

 My friend Louise and I talked about seeing the Michael Jackson movie tomorrow. I've heard it's good and so I'm hoping we can work that out.

 I did join a gym last weekend, but haven't gone yet. I need a combination lock and some other gear. It's been so long since I've done that workout thang, so I'm going to start slowly and see what happens. Like most of us, I sometimes push myself doing something around the house and feel that weird twinge for an hour or so. Just because you have the energy to do a serious workout doesn't mean you're necessarily up to it. It's always a good idea to start slowly, especially when you're a little older than you used to be.

 I hope to see some other old friends this week, maybe go out for dinner a couple of times and then -- ho-hum -- go back to work.

 I think the blog changeover is happening this week. If I have problems with the new software I will write something in the most recent comments section to let you know...

 

Happy Halloween!!!

A (pet) death in the family

Cool, windy...and, alas, a sad morning. One of my niece Talia's two dachshunds died last night. DJ apparently hurt his neck at some point during the day, and became increasingly ill as the day went on. On a day when we tend to think about what scares us, I have to say that a sick pet is a nightmare. He or she can't tell you what's wrong, and I guess those of who have pets have all experienced that mad dash to the vet's office when something wasn't quite right.

 Last year, when the parrot became sick, I was out of my mind, calling the vet, the woman (a bird lover) who works at the pet store, and anyone else I could think of...trying to do what I could to save her -- and not being able to do it.

 Talia seems to be OK, I called her a couple of hours ago and also posted a condolence note (from Jasper) on her Facebook page. She's had DJ since she was a tot and that's hard. Her other dog Jake is also despondent over this loss.

 We all go through this at one time or another. And, let's face it, we're much closer to our animals than most people realize. They are family to us, even if they forget sometimes to send us birthday cards. 

 Kiss your pet today!!

Friday

It's chilly, bright and beautiful out there. Leaves all over the place. I know some of us have been down the last few days and some of us haven't, but howzabout we all have a GREAT weekend?

 I'm seeing friends, going to at least one Halloween party, spending some time with my parents -- who simply cannot go up and down the stairs all day for trick-or-treaters -- and I will HOPEFULLY have a good time doing all of the above.

 Do you have a favorite candy? I used to love Snickers, Three Musketeers, Reese's peanut butter cups and a bunch of other junk that I can't stand the sight of anymore. Also used to love red licorice, but the newer stuff tastes awful. Potato chips haven't tasted the same for years either.

 I suppose this is all MY fault??? I don't think so. I'm not sure what happened to the chips, but everything else is drowning in corn syrup. I avoid chocolate and other sweets most of the time, since I'm lactose intolerant and most sugary stuff makes me sick. But, when I am in the mood...well...sometimes you want something so bad that it's almost worth the upset stomach. And there are plenty of delicious treats out there if you know where to look for them -- and don't mind spending a bit more.

 Pumpkin pie is good, but I love a really good apple pie when I can get one. Is there anything better than a really good pie?

 If you have young kids, I hope they enjoy themselves this weekend. Keeping up holiday traditions can be a drag as you get older, but kids love them and remember them forever.

 xxx

Count 'em, Dracula

A frightening 'turn'

 Apparently, this is a turnip. It looks scarier than a pumpkin.

Thursday

I have a doctor's appointment at 10, then a few errands to run. I joined a gym this week, so I need to pick up a combination lock and a few other odds and ends.

 I managed to watch most of the game last night and -- thanks to the magic of DVR -- also saw "Modern Family" and "Top Chef." Click! Click! Click!

 I can't claim to be much of a Yankees fan, but I guess seeing the home team get trounced on opening night was probably one way to get our blood pumping. 

 Revenge!

 In other news, I spoke to a good friend the other night who is a small business owner. She was for Hillary early last year, eventually went out and campaigned for Obama and is currently (like so many of us) suffering in an economy that is crushing her.

 Between taxes and health care costs (not to mention late-paying clients who are also suffering) she is at the end of her rope and looking for someone to blame.

 She also shared the ire she has aimed at the banks and AIG.

 I felt awful listening to what she is going through. But I'm not sure what she wanted to hear. This president isn't a magician -- any more than the last 43 were. And if there's one thing I feel sorry for where he's concerned, it's that we have no way of knowing what COULD have happened if the bailouts had not taken place.

 All I do know is that we're not in a depression at the moment, even if many of us have plenty of reasons to be depressed. A lot of people have lost jobs in the last year, but how many more people would have lost jobs if our economy had completely collapsed and then began the mystical process of 'self-correcting?'

 When people are going through hell it's hard to cheer them up by telling them how much worse things could be. I don't envy the president or anyone else who has been working to get things back on track, but, of course, I also feel for everyone else who remembers the robust '90s and assumed that things were going to stay that way forever.

 Right now our leaders have to fix this mess and hopefully prevent it from happening again. Unfortunately, the enormous greed at some of these institutions has become an institution unto itself. On the one hand, I can't blame people who have the opportunity to make so much money and grab it. On the other hand, I feel for the struggling middle class which is bearing the brunt of this and which knows that it will be many years before things for them are right again.

Wednesday

Dreary again??? The World Series begins tonight in the Bronx. Rainout? Unlikely, although there may be some delays. Tuesday is Election Day and it's clearly being overshadowed by the Yankees. I haven't read too many predictions about the gubernatorial race in NJ, but I suppose its possible that incumbent Jon Corzine could lose. For starters, the economy stinks -- never good for incumbents. And, much as I respect Corzine, I don't think he's endeared himself to New Jerseyans. Is that a problem? In a year like this one, yes. Because even those who voted for him last time around may not be inspired to vote at all this year. Do you think Corzine will be reelected? Do you think turnout will be high, low or "the usual?" Just curious. ; )

 

Tuesday

Dreary.

Monday

Another beautiful day. Did you watch the game last night? I had some friends over, then watched TV for a few hours, took a photo or two -- people hate this hat so I wear it whenever possible -- and then hit the sack around 3:30. I've had a crappy month so it's kind of nice to just do nothing for a while. No idea yet if I'm going anywhere this week. Jasper says hi.

Vacation!

 I got things off to a bang with a three hour nap! Yowza! 

 Now what? It looks as if my two weeks off may get cut short if the Yankees win this weekend. I was asked about jetting (well, driving) to Philadelphia to write about the mood there. (Kind of like my Green Bay and Super Bowl stories last year.) Frankly, I don't have anything else planned, so that seems like a sweet deal to me.

 In other news: The U.S. is moving ever closer to getting custody of "detained" filmmaker Roman Polanski, who despite his legal efforts to the contrary seems likely to be returned to California, after 31 years as a fugitive. I'm not sure what all of this is costing, or how long a legal battle will be waged. If returned, authorities say Polanski could serve up to two years in prison.

 This may or may not include time already served in Switzerland and time off for good behavior, unless the 76-year-old starts up a good old-fashioned prison riot. In the meantime, production has been shut down on his most recent, unfinished film "The Ghost," which has to be costing someone many more millions of dollars and probably put hundreds of people out of work.

 Is money an issue in all of this? Perhaps, since some believe that the Swiss, who are generally uninterested in the rest of world, decided to jump on the Polanski matter in an effort to get the US to ease up on wealthy American tax cheats dumping their cash into Swiss banks.

 This sounds ridiculous to me, but whenever a story doesn't quite make sense, there's usually money involved somewhere along the line.

 Anyway...whatever. I suppose putting him away for nine months will make some people happy. 

 THE HEALTH CARE PACKAGE is looking at a cost of $1 trillion over a decade, which is higher than original administration projections. Do we care? In 2004, budget experts said that our grandchildren would be paying off the excesses of the Bush administration, so who's paying off this thing? Our great, great, great grandchildren?

 We need health care that works in this country NOW, so let's get this over with, already.

 The brutal murder of a priest in Chatham -- his battered body was found on Friday afternoon -- is the sort of mystery that keeps you guessing until the end when you see it on a TV movie or crime show. Reading this account on the New York Times website had me scratching my head, wondering about clues.

 It also made me want to lock the doors.

 

TWO THINGS

 First of all, I'm going to be on vacation for two weeks, although that rarely stops me from posting here. Secondly the format of this (and all of the Record blogs) will be changing in a week or so. This also means a change in how I post, and I haven't had much luck using the new system. So, should I suddenly disappear from the blogosphere, it will probably only be temporary. And I'll be easy enough to find on Facebook. 

And (oy) another 'special letter'

You think its easy reading mail all day long?

 Hello Mr. Ervolino,

     Today is the first time I have ever read anything that you have written.  The reason I did so is because my AP English teacher was a huge fan of yours.  She grew up in New Jersey and loved everything you wrote.  Apparently your articles are hilarious.  Almost all the adults that she coerced into reading it were laughing.  However, when I read "Toaster Oven Maintains a Warm Place in his Heart"   I didn't come across anything that was all that humorous.  My classmates all expressed the same sentiments and chose me to write to you.  I was wondering if you could explain the attraction all adults feel towards your writing.  Just for the record your article was a bit eccentric and I enjoyed reading it simply because of the subject matter.

Sincerely,
Hafsa (Connecticut)

Have you prayed for Suri lately?

Giggle of the moment: Director Mary Harron reveals that Christian Bale based his character in "American Psycho" on Tom Cruise, after seeing Cruise on Letterman. ("He had this intense friendliness, with nothing behind the eyes.")

Hmm....

Hours BEFORE I read the news on Tuesday about the gaping holes in our screening of breast and prostate cancers, I had already decided to postpone the second biopsy I had scheduled in December.

Weeks after the first one was done, I am still dealing with the after-effects which, for me, have been disorienting and depressing. 

 I'm not "announcing" this as some sort of manifesto on American health care or the state of the prostate cancer industry. Rather, I'm passing the news along because I have discussed these issues here and because I believe I am making an informed decision, while, at the same time, taking into consideration the effect all of this is going to have on me mentally. I was practically despondent last week wondering when these after-effects would be behind me. And the thought of starting all over again in December was giving me absolutely nothing to look forward to.

 All I could imagine was how I was going to be feeling around Christmas time and how this was going to impact on my family -- since Christmas has always been a special time for us.

 After he gave me the results of the first procedure, my doctor had recommended doing the second in January. I thought -- for some reason -- that it might be better, for insurance reasons, to have both procedures done in the same year. But that was before I realized how miserable I was going to be.

 I've read many personal accounts online from patients who bounced back from their biopsies in a day or two and others who dealt with the after-effects for months. I called the doctor's office on Wednesday to cancel the December appointment and I hope to talk personally to him soon.

 

 I've done a lot of research in the last couple of weeks and there are certain things I hope to do this year to see if I can drastically reduce my PSA number. I have a few things on my side at the moment: no history of prostate cancer in my family; no other symptoms; no detection of cancer in the first biopsy; and the fact that this is a slow-moving cancer. (So slow, in fact, that in some cases doctors decide not to do any aggressive treatments at all.)

 I am not trying to influence anyone on how they should approach their care. Nor have I made my decision based on desperation -- although, let's face it, I AM pretty desperate. I have read as much as I can on the subject; I have discussed the matter with friends who are doctors; and I have discussed the matter, at least from a practical standpoint, with friends and family.

 I would still urge all men in my age group to be screened and find out their PSA score, to weigh their doctor's recommendations and to -- when necessary -- get a second and even third opinion. Medicine saves lives and doctors do their best, but sometimes you have to bring a little something into the mix as well. 

 Reading about how these screenings often miss serious cancers, and how over-monitoring -- with endless unnecessary procedures -- is causing great distress to prostate patients has made me feel comfortable enough to at least wait until January.

 I think I am making the right decision. And, as always, I appreciate your concern and kind thoughts.

: )

The REAL story

Jasper's new hat

Tuesday

The sun is out. I have mucho writing to do. No kaboom this morning. Didn't take that Uroxatral last night. Was kind of surprised so many of you told me to call the doctor yesterday, since the literature explains that dizziness is a side effect in some people. Isn't that an old joke?

 Doc, it hurts when I do this! 

 Don't do it!

 This wasn't a drug I HAD to take, the doc gave me some samples and suggested I try them. I did like when it worked but I can live without it. I will be calling him at some point this week, so I guess we can discuss alternatives. Or...perhaps some way to take this without the side effects. 

 And...how are you today?

Kaboom

Mornings are the worst, but my urologist gave me a medication called Uroxatral; said it would make things a little easier first thing in the morning. (I'm trying to be genteel, here. Basically, it takes about 15 painful minutes to pee.) I read the literature, saw there were some side effects and also researched the drug online. (When you go to these medically-themed blogs and bulletin boards, however, you have to keep in mind that the people who feel most inclined to post are those who have either had miraculous results or serious problems.)

 I decided not to the take the drug -- as a rule, I'm not big on medications -- but things got so bad that I finally tried one on Saturday night. Sunday morning was wonderful. Normal, again. ("Those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end....")

 I took the drug again on Sunday night before going to bed, after re-reading the literature. Apparently it can cause severe dizziness and nausea in 1 to 2 percent of the people who take it. This morning I woke up, went to the bathroom and felt the room spinning. I fell sideways, hit the wall, smashed the baseboard and felt everything spinning.

 That was hours ago. I'm still dizzy. And, even though the doctor said I could call him at any time, I'm pretty sure he would say, "Don't take it tonight." So, that's my big plan.

 After the fall I went back to bed for about 20 minutes then woke up and ate like two pigs and a horse, so I don't think I have the flu or anything. I'm going to drink a lot of water and see if I can wash this Uroxatral right out of my hair. Too bad, though. What it DID do for me was very nice. 

 

Thanks...

for the concern about Dad. He was released about an hour ago and I brought him home. He seems fine, but they had to realign his meds a bit. I think this just happens when you're on a lot of pills and junk. After a while, things need to be tinkered with. He also has to see his regular doctor this week and his cardiologist. There were a few issues that came up in his tests, but I guess for 83 he's doing well.

 I really appreciate all the warm thoughts and as always I thank you guys for sending positive energy my way. Anyway, blah-blah-blah. Enjoy the wonderful weather. (Ahem.) I'm having some friends over later for "movie night." Have to get some food and stuff.

 xxx b

Dad update

I mentioned it this morning on my Facebook page, but know a few of you don't venture over to that part of town. Dad got sick last night, actually 1 a.m., shortness of breath, etc. He didn't seem terribly sick to me, and wasn't experiencing chest pains, but I decided to take him to the ER anyway. 

 They ran a few tests on him and want to keep him there a few days for more. My understanding is that what he was experiencing yesterday wasn't the problem; they're more concerned about what could happen next.

 I'm heading back there shortly. I'm not sure if they're contemplating surgery, some simpler procedure or merely a juggling of his medications. I've been in such a funk the last few weeks about my situation, but this was a nice smack in the face. I'm really focused now on him and my mom -- and feel a lot better about everything else.

 The one thing that always warms me at times like this is seeing my parents dote on each other. They argue 24/7 but when something happens to one of them, the other is right there, so caring and tender and loving. It's such a nice thing to see and reminds me how much I love both of them.

Latest thing from Paris

What a nutty case

 As we all expected after hearing the news yesterday, civil rights advocates in eastern Louisiana are calling for the resignation of a justice of the peace of Tangipahoa Parish  after he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple.

According to the Associated Press, the leaders of the American Civil Liberties Union in Louisiana and the Center for Constitutional Rights and Justice in New York said Keith Bardwell, a white justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish in the southeastern part of the state, should quit immediately. Earlier this month, Bardwell refused to issue a marriage license to Beth Humphrey, who is white, and Terence McKay (above), who is black.

"Perhaps he's worried the kids will grow up and be president," said Bill Quigley, director of the Center for Constitutional Rights and Justice. 

 Did Bardwell think no one was going to complain about this? 

Nor'easter

This appears to be quite a storm system we're experiencing -- the kind that would have paralyzed us in January. Has the rain ruined any weekend plans? And...how about the winter ahead? After it snowed in parts of New Jersey yesterday, a lot of people have been predicting a winter that will be lot worse than last year's. I don't recall too many major storms last year, just frigid weather that seemed to linger for six months...

A special letter

I often tell people I work in a vacuum, writing silly things for people to read, but never knowing who is reading them, when, or under what circumstances. Through the years, I've received some nice letters from folks who say they've been reading me "forever" and share a piece of their life with me. But, none of them affected me like this one, which I received yesterday. I asked the writer if I could reprint it here and she said that was fine with her, as long as I deleted her name and town. So, I did...

Dear Mr. Ervolino,

In 2002 I met the man of my dreams after many years of being alone, children don't count. He lived in NJ while I lived in NY. On Sundays we would get together at my place and read the papers before watching the big game of the week. He always read your column out loud to me and we would enjoy your exploits. You have a nice way about you.

 Time marched on and in 2005 I moved to [New Jersey].  Through the years he read me your columns and we continued to enjoy them.  In  February 2008 he had three massive strokes and in June I cleaned out his apartment and permanently moved him to a nursing home. Now it was my turn to read your column to him. 

When I wasn't able to visit him we still connected by me reading to him over the phone. We laughed when Jasper wrote your column and prayed when your mom was so sick. Right before Memorial Day he passed away, only 61 years old but we don't get to pick  our time.

Your column was part of the glue that bound us and I thank you. I'm only sorry that it took me so long to let you know how much you meant to us.

Be well,
[A Longtime Reader]

Actually...

I did wake up and had a wonderful time at the breakfast. I met Hackensack Mayor Marlin G. Townes and asked him the question we all want to know: Why do politicians get such expensive hookers?

 I also met the new Chamber President Linda Santucci who had just been installed shortly before I arrived at the restaurant. I didn't know this and asked her how she liked the job. She said, "I don't know yet, I've only been president for two hours."

 I said, "Oh. Well, good for you! I'm sure you'll have a Nobel Prize by next Wednesday."

Grrr...

For some psychotic reason I agreed to be the breakfast speaker for the Hackensack Chamber of Commerce this morning.

 WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???

 I got into bed at 10 p.m. last night, watched "Top Chef" and turned off the lights at 11:15. (I had my alarm set for 5:30). I spent the next three hours downing a lethal combination of pills and liquor because with every passing minute I seemed to become more and more awake. At 2:15 I changed the alarm to 6:45, but that didn't help relax me, either.

 I wound up getting about three hours sleep and now I have to shave, shower, get in my car and perform a little comedy for the other crazy people who get up at this time of day.

 Oh, I'm sure I'll wake up, eventually, but I never learn my lesson. There is no way I could live on this kind of schedule. I can usually get by on 4 or 5 hours sleep but I can NEVER go to bed knowing I have to wake up at a certain time in the morning, it's physically impossible for me. 

 And believe me, I was exhausted last night. But, that never makes any difference. I shut the lights and five minutes later I'm SO wide awake I practically jump out of the bed.

 Last weekend, I fell asleep (totally unplanned) around midnight and woke up, fit as a fiddle, at 5 a.m. I should have called the Chamber of Commerce we were doing it on THAT morning.

 Anyway...grrr....it's 7:30, I still can't pry my eyes open, and I have to be at the restaurant in an hour.

 Someone please remind me never to do this again.

 

 

 

Wednesday

Well the heat finally came on last night, although I'm still freezing. I have to run some errands and dash over to finish an interview later today in Waldwick. 

 I like the way today's column came out...as I continue describing my mid-life prostate experiences. I sit around feeling sorry for myself and think there's nothing funny about all of this and then something funny comes up and bites me on the...

 Wherever.

 I'm still hearing from people who have been through this and dealt with the mini-depression that seems to go with these upsetting side effects. In the grand scheme of things, it's nothing. And yet, what can I say? It's unpleasant. So, it's a relief to laugh once in a while.

 Hope all of you are doing well and enjoying the crisp air. It's gorgeous out there if you're dressed for it.

Dreary

 Sorry, I don't like waking up in the dark -- like I did yesterday at 6 a.m. Or, waking up to a sunshine-less day, like I did a few minutes ago.

 I inadvertently began a lengthy discussion on Facebook last night about whether or not to turn on the heat. It's my column topic for Sunday, and I was amused to see how many people were struggling with the same dilemma -- to turn up the thermostat or wait a few days...weeks...etc.

 

 I'm not crazy about heat or cold. Do you have a preference? I know David Letterman loves keeping his theater so chilly that some people bring sweaters to the tapings. Katharine Hepburn loved the cold, too. She used to start her mornings in Connecticut by going for a swim -- even in December.

 Some people keep their homes so warm in the winter that you feel as if you're suffocating. My parents, like a lot of other seniors I know, take blood thinners and they're always colder than the rest of us. I'm always amazed on hot humid days how they can sit around and talk about how cool it is.

 "Isn't in time to turn on the air-conditioning?" I'll ask in mid-July, with the sweat dripping down my back.

 "Air-conditioning? Are you kidding? With this breeze?"