Ervolino: Vacation!

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October 23, 2009

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lwt

well, i don't know that locking doors will be a guarantee. we always lock ours, but that didn't stop someone from kicking the door in and ransacking our house. and on the other hand, rarely i forget to close the back door. i keep it wide open on sunny days to keep the basement from smelling funky and once in a great while i'll come downstairs in the morning to find it's still open.
whatever they do with polanski, i hope they can do it without involving the victim. she didn't ask for this back then and she is not asking for this now.
healthcare? i've stopped hoping for it. if i live to 65 i will have medicare and presumably that will be the end of it.
i haven't really cared about the world series since the red sox won it several years ago and i don't care now, but if you'd like to cover it in philadelphia, i hope you get the chance. of course a world series between yankees and philadelphia will cause a civil war among my in-laws. almost three quarters of the family are yankees fans, less than a quarter are phillies fans and the remaining are mets fans. me? i like boston.

Linda

lwt....I've been on Medicare since about 1993...that won't be the end of it...they only pay 80%. Of course those who want that 20% out of me will have to give me a job.

What kind of a person can kill a priest? One who isn't playing with a full deck obviously. I think it was sometime after my neighbor down the street was murdered that I realized if someone wants you they will get you no matter what they have to do.

Hearing of yet another child abduction and murder I came up with the idea that as soon as a baby is born they should have a chip inserted in their body somewhere so that they can be found....like they do cars and dogs. Then after watching an old Law and Order I wondered what can we do with rapists.
Dumping them in a vat of boiling virgin olive oil didn't seem practical. Cutting off their anatomy wouldn't help because they would just use another object. Hmmmm..how about leaving them on a deserted island to fend for themselves. After eating enough coconuts they will become flakes.:)

Evelyn

Linda - back when my daughter was born, the hospital put a chip in the umbilical clamp, so no one could take a baby off the maternity floor without sounding an alarm. So the idea of chipping a child is not that far-fetched. However the technology is not proactive enough to allow you to use it like Lojack to find a child - as in lost pets, the chip just shows identity when it is scanned. And the database must be updated or else the information linked to the chip is useless. However, someday...

Evelyn

PS - I ALWAYS lock the doors at night. I had too many neighbors burglarized in my old neighborhood in Teaneck, mostly during the daytime. My kids have keys and I have a means to get one if I lock myself out. Although, having broken in once, I know anyone who wants to get it, can. They'd just have to not be afraid of two big, loud, barking dogs who bark like maniacs. Honestly that's why I have them - not that they'd hurt anyone short of licking them soggy if they broke in. Just that the barking would maybe alert someone to call the cops. Maybe. Actually, not likely, but the burglers don't know that!

lwt

my neighbors have very well-behaved dogs. if i ever heard them barking hysterically, i'd call the police because obviously, something's wrong.
both anne mccaffrey and david and leigh eddings have written books in which punishment for rapists and other violent criminals was to be exiled, alone, on an island. too bad we don't have more islands around now.
the kind of person who would kill a priest is the same kind of person who would kill anyone.
i don't think a chip is a good idea. oh, it would be great in its early stages, but then the government eventually would be tracking everyone all the time. i know the argument for that is don't do anything you wouldn't want them to know about, but there is such a thing as privacy. if i am ever 'chipped' it will be by force. i will never consent to it.

Tom McAdam

Bill, looks like you're headed to Philadelphia. Have fun. Sorry the vacation will be cut short.

Linda

Tom....I think going to Philadelphia for Bill WILL be a vacation.:)

John

Go to Gino's Steaks and Pat's Steaks. I think the only difference is the way to cut the meat. One shreds it. (I think). Visit the Rocky Statue at the bottom of the Philadelphia Museum.

Tonoose

If you don't have children you won't have to pay ANY of it back.

Diamond Resorts International

I don't think a chip is a good idea. oh, it would be great in its early stages, but then the government eventually would be tracking everyone all the time.

Sam Hadley

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ABOUT

Ervolino_animation

BILL ERVOLINO is an award-winning humor columnist at The Record in Bergen County, N.J. He began writing in 1976, and, since then, has stopped only once — in 1983 — to get a drink of water.

The ERVOLINO blog is an online extension of Bill Ervolino's Record column and is dedicated to the theory that this millennium is (and should be) just as ridiculous as the last one was. Do you have any comments, questions, or useful information to share? Do it here.

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