MLS: Red Bulls at Houston Dynamo (running commentary)
Okay, here it is folks, I will do a running commentary on the Red Bulls-Houston Dynamo match tonight. We can only hope that this game is better than the U.S.-Colombia disaster I'm still suffering through as we speak.
Here it is, the Red Bulls chance to snap their recent slide and a chance to end Houston's eight-match unbeaten streak. Will it happen? I doubt it but anything is possible.
Let's go, here is the Red Bulls-Dynamo running commentary:
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89th minute- Okay folks, I need to take off and write a story about this absurdly bad performance. I'll be back later to check in on the observations you all make. Fire away.
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84th minute- Another Houston break. I'm almost rooting four about a 6-0 scoreline at this point.
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82nd minute- Man, time does fly. Corey Ashe just came into the match for Holden. I remember meeting Ashe in a classroom in Bradenton back in 2003. That class included Jonathan Spector, Eddie Gaven, Freddy Adu and Memo Gonzalez.
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80th minute- GOAL HOUSTON. Stuart Holden with a nice blast after the Red Bulls defense froze in place for about five seconds. I would love to hear Bruce Arena's excuses after this match. He's lucky this wasn't a home game.
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74th minute- Hey, was that a Red Bull shot on goal? WOW.
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70th minute- Here's a question, who's a bigger fan, Allen Hopkins of Landon Donovan or Eric Wynalda of Taylor Twellman? It's close and it's scary.
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69th minute- Quaranta is in the match. I'll put the odds at him doing anything useful at about 50/1.
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66th minute- Guys, this is brutal to watch. I'm not sure I can find words for this.
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59th minute- The Red Bulls just took out Reyna and Angel and we've gotten three minutes about how Bruce Arena looks like Tommy Hilfiger. Thank the lord for the mute button.
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58th minute- Boy how I wish there was an SAP option for ESPN2.
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56th minute- I can't blame Reyna for a thing tonight. He was the only player who gave a serious effort tonight but it was wasted with the rest of his team sleepwalking through the match.
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55th minute- Bruce Arena just threw in the towel by taking out Juan Pablo Angel and Claudio Reyna. Can't really blame him because this REd Bulls team isn't winning this game and they do play Colorado on Sunday.
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54th minute- Can you say Target Practice? How ugly can this game get for the Red Bulls?
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51st minute- This Red Bulls team looks completely fried. I don't want to hear about rebuilding from last year or injuries. This team had time to rest and recover and has come back off its bye week looking flatter than before the bye week.
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49TH MINUTE- GOAL HOUSTON. Nice save by Waterreus on a DeRosario shot but the next corner results in another header goal by Ngwenya. DYNAMO 3, Red Bulls 0.
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HALFTIME- Watching Argentina-Paraguay now. Nice to see some quality soccer for a change. Too bad I can only watch a few minutes until the Red Bull-Dynamo game comes back.
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HALFTIME- Houston 2, Red Bulls 0. Not sure who played worse, the Red Bulls or the U.S. national team.
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45th minute- Goldthwaite is having a rough day, and has anyone figured out why the Red Bulls traded Todd Dunivant and cash for this guy?
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41st minute- Okay, this match desperately needs a drinking game. We drink every time a Markus Schopp run ends in nothing. We also drink every time a Red Bulls sends a terrible cross out of bounds.
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39th minute- So what's with Ryan Cochrane's beard?
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37th minute- It is amazing how sluggish the Red Bulls look like as a team. Claudio Reyna actually looks like the most active player out there and you can tell he's frustrated.
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35th minute- For those of you who are US/Red Bulls fans and are enduring a second straight ugly match, I would recommend a shower at halftime.
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32nd minute- GOAL HOUSTON. Ching scores it. Just remember what I said at the 28th minute. Bad defending for the Red Bulls yet again as Ching pounces on a loose ball to make it Houston 2, Red Bulls 0.
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30th minute- Reyna puts a decent shot at goal from distance. Here's a question. Does anyone in the world own Reyna in MLS fantasy? What's he cost, like $20 million?
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28th minute- GOAL HOUSTON. More bad defending by the Red Bulls as Ngwenya heads home a free kick (and snares me 20 points in fantasy). Nice job by Waibel with the cross body block on Goldthwaite to free Ngwenya. This game is over. You heard it here first.
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28th minute- Goldthwaite gets a yellow (and costs me five points). Sorry for the delay but I'm still recovering from the Copa America-induced coma.
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20th minute- I caught some commentary from Allen Hopkins about how Bruce Arena had such a rebuilding job to do with the Red Bulls. Are we still letting Arena get by with that excuse? Wasn't the team built to a pretty good standard in May when it was in first place? I think it's time to retire that excuse.
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18th minute- OK, I'm back.
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15th minute- What a surprise, the Red Bulls are stuck in their own end as Houston puts the pressure on.
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9th minute- Sorry folks, switching back and forth and Colombia just lost its goalkeeper with no subs left. I wish that game would end already.
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4th minute- As good as Ngwenya has been since getting to Houston why is it that someone with his talent has been with three teams in two years? Hmm.
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1st minute- Schopp looks fit and could provide some good service if he's on his game. The Red Bulls will miss Richards speed but I think he was on fumes lately anyway.
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PRE-GAME- Dema Kovalenko did not make the trip to Houston for those of you wondering. he's still nursing a groin injury.
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PRE-GAME- No Dane Richards or Clint Mathis for the Red Bulls, which has to bother at least a few Fantasy MLS players. Perhaps not as much as Brad Davis' absence from the Houston lineup.
Marcus Schopp?
Posted by: kpugs | July 05, 2007 at 08:11 PM
I am totally dominating the comments section.
Posted by: kpugs | July 05, 2007 at 08:13 PM
What's with the silver ball?
Posted by: kpugs | July 05, 2007 at 08:14 PM
Penalty in the U.S. game?
Posted by: kpugs | July 05, 2007 at 08:19 PM
Never mind. I'm not too bright.
Posted by: kpugs | July 05, 2007 at 08:20 PM
because houston are reigning mls cup champs they get to play with a special ball.
Posted by: Dan | July 05, 2007 at 08:22 PM
Red bulls need to have an attacking midfield player in with Claudio. He has shown he's not going to be enough of an attacking option, and if he can't handle the defensive duties in the middle by himself, he doesn't deserve to be a DP anymore.
Posted by: Dan | July 05, 2007 at 08:27 PM
Gotta love hearing a big crowd reaction while the camera is focused on an extended closeup of The Bruce.
Posted by: kpugs | July 05, 2007 at 08:27 PM
Please let this game be more enjoyable than the last
Posted by: Joamiq | July 05, 2007 at 08:29 PM
i'm with Waldo, i don't get Houston trading away Gray and a 2nd rounder for Jaqua
Posted by: Jasen | July 05, 2007 at 08:34 PM
Goddammit, where is my rum...
Posted by: Joamiq | July 05, 2007 at 08:37 PM
between Mendes letting Ngwenya beating him to a header, and Waterreus not getting to that ball...what the F is going on?!?
Posted by: Jasen | July 05, 2007 at 08:37 PM
Oh my God. This is shaping up to be one of my worst nights of soccer ever.
Posted by: Joamiq | July 05, 2007 at 08:40 PM
Why am I watching this?
Posted by: kpugs | July 05, 2007 at 08:40 PM
any chance at a Red Bull drinking game Ives? this game needs one (at least).
Posted by: Dan | July 05, 2007 at 08:41 PM
Chingy!
Posted by: brentmcd | July 05, 2007 at 08:41 PM
(sorry, i'm a houston fan :-)
Posted by: brentmcd | July 05, 2007 at 08:42 PM
Current sponsor for the game: Jose Cuervo. All signs point to drinking.
The U-20 team better beat Brasil tomorrow...
Posted by: Joamiq | July 05, 2007 at 08:44 PM
...by no less than 11 goals.
Posted by: kpugs | July 05, 2007 at 08:45 PM
between red bull games and the copa, my i find it hard to get excited about soccer right now.
Posted by: Dan | July 05, 2007 at 08:46 PM
welcome, brent
Posted by: Jasen | July 05, 2007 at 08:48 PM
they look sluggish and getting literally pushed around by houston. this is getting towards the middle part of the season and every team is finding their form-unlike the red bulls
Posted by: tim | July 05, 2007 at 08:50 PM
Ives: If you're a US fan and a Red Bull fan, games are not necessary. Tonight, you don't need any further reasons to drink.
Posted by: Joamiq | July 05, 2007 at 08:53 PM
i'm ready for the Schopp experiment to end...time for Dane Richards again.
Posted by: Jasen | July 05, 2007 at 08:55 PM
Ives, i think Arena was having a Keith Hernandez moment...that's the only possible explanation.
Posted by: Jasen | July 05, 2007 at 08:57 PM